Today is my 27th birthday and I have been reflecting on what I have learned and how I have grown over the last year as well as what is important to me moving forward. This led to the following five concepts:
- Awareness of Self, God & Others
#1: BE INTENTIONAL
I adopted "Be intentional" as my permanent mantra in 2016, then spent the entire year making some pretty desperate and haphazard moves. However, in 2017, I got much more focused...and slowed TF down. Honestly, God did it for me because that was not my nature at the time. Hesitation was doubt and doubt was fear and fear was weak, in my mind back then. One day, I'll explain exactly how wrong I was.
2017 has been the most "centered" year of my life, despite the chaos that surrounded me and occurred in our world. I feel so ready for 2018 because I know how to channel my own peace and discern my next actions in the midst of tribulation.
#2: AWARENESS OF SELF, GOD & OTHERS
Goals and growth require measurement. That is where awareness of self, God and others comes into play. I have learned to analyze the who, what, why, where, when, and how on all three fronts in order to keep myself in check.
- "Is this something that will fill or drain me?"
- "Is God in this?"
- "How will this serve others?"
I can now answer these questions consciously and subconsciously. This ability has empowered my comfort is saying "no" more discerningly. On the other hand, telling people what I know...that is a goal for 2018. I struggle with opening up about my awareness, experiences and lessons. More on that below. Stay tuned.
Health is so critical, mainly because I know it can be a driving factor for success in other areas of my life. Since moving to my home at OrangeMoon, I've learned so so much about purposeful living, clean eating and community building. I have learned new vegan and vegetarian recipes and cooking styles, which have led to me being able to feel a noticeable change in my body. For about two years now, I've been telling myself I wanted to develop the habits I want my children to know no different from. Being here has helped me to not just say I want healthier habits, but also execute healthier habits.
One thing to add on to this is swimming. As a lifelong swimmer, I need to get back to my therapy sessions in the water. In anticipation of all I feel 27 and 2018 bringing to me, my therapy workouts are going to be mandatory for maintaining my balance and stamina. Being able to get a full body workout in while clearing my head with the sounds of water passing by is the self care I need. With the opening of the new MLK, Jr. Recreation Center & Natatorium about 10 minutes from my home, I am counting down the days for this Scorpio to reunite with her element.
Time... you predictable, surprising, measurable, finite but limitless dependency, you!
My Type-A personality has frequent desires to rush through time and stress over plans, goals and the future. I know it isn't healthy and I can usually check myself when I start to trigger that anxiety, but I'm working on relinquishing that feeling. Alternatively, while not trying to rush the present, I also cannot fall into the laziness or complacency of thinking "I have plenty of time" to work on my goals. Time is neither guaranteed nor redeemable. All I have is now, so I am actively working on using it intentionally, whether that means I'm working on a project, learning or reading something that stimulates me, eating well now for my future self's benefit, choosing whether or not to engage in a certain activity (asking myself the questions in #2), or completely unwinding while watching How To Get Away With Murder. Intentionality with time is going to make or break all of us.
I must cherish the present, while intentionally working toward my future, but not stressing it because everything that is mine is coming to me in due time.
Progress is something I've learned to accept in all forms. Reading, writing, thinking, listening to and sharing with others, and more have increased my awareness of so much beyond myself and revealed new traits about myself. This awareness is progress. Want to know what really helped? Shutting up and listening changed. the. game. Being humbled enough to retreat, reflect, listen, and learn allowed so much to pour into me and open my mind. I have recently been feeling God saying, "It's time to share what you've learned." This scares me because I never what to seem like I know it all...because chile, I DON'T...but I can confidently say I know enough that can certainly help someone else the way it helped me. This new step in vulnerability will be one of my tests in 2018...but really right now because, why wait? I'm feeling the fear, and doing it anyway.
"If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you." - The Gospel of Thomas